


Tip-toe Through the Tulips

by Bonfoi



Series: the original The Silver Snitch stories [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, OOC-ness, One Shot, PWP, Parody, Post War, TSS, The Silver Snitch, crack!fic, written in 2005
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-04
Updated: 2005-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:53:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonfoi/pseuds/Bonfoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucius Malfoy wants to take up where the Dark (and dead) Lord left off.  It’s up to Severus Snape’s Slytherin cunning to head him off at the pass…or would that be wall?</p><hr/><p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>    <i>Second Place in <br/>The Silver Snitch Lucius/Severus Dark of Night Contest #5 (2005).</i><br/></p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	Tip-toe Through the Tulips

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** While looking through my first forays into fan fiction, I reread this and thought, “What the hey?! I wanna share drunken, sneaky, really aware Severus with everybody once again!”

§¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪ §¤§₪

**_Disclaimer:_** The world of Harry Potter, its characters and settings are the copyrighted works of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., her publishing companies and affiliates. No profit was made from the writing of this story nor was any malice intended in any way, shape or form to the author or the actors/actresses who so brilliantly have brought them to life.

This author is not responsible for underage readers. Please observe the ratings, warnings, and age of legal consent for your country.

* * *

I am certifiably proud of my second-place finish and here’s who else made top honors:

Results for The Silver Snitch Lucius/Severus Dark of Night Contest #5 (2005)  
In third place: Heartache by Kitsune  
In second place: Tip-toe Through the Tulips by Bonfoi.  
In first place, the winner of our Dark of Night Award is: Dark Seduction by Alisanne

** The Challenge (July/2005) **

>   
> **Dark of Night Contest #5 Challenge Topic #6:** Post War. Lucius defects at the last minute, helping in the defeat of Voldemort. Immediately after, he contacts his friend, Severus, with ideas of how to take over control of the Dark Lord’s job. Severus distracts him in the best way he knows how.

sslmsslmsslmsslmsslmsslm

“Ding, Dong, the Wicked Wizard’s dead…Yo ho, yo ho!”

Severus Snape, feared spy for the Order of the Phoenix, turncoat Death Eater, and Potions Master extraordinaire, was blitzed out of his mind. Earlier that day, he’d taken information from his off-again, on-again lover, Lucius Malfoy, and helped the Golden Toy …er… Boy… defeat Moldy Voldie. 

It was stunning. The air was crisp, with a hint of apple wood smoke and dried alfala. The sun had just crested the foothills to the east. It didn’t look like a good day for anyone to die. But, better the nasty piece of work than the Good Guys! Go Light team, go!!!

“Live and let die…duhn…duhnn….Live and let die…duhn…duh…” It really is hard to do one of Wings’ best songs while wrapping your lips around a fine bottle of spiked fire whiskey. But, Severus was giving it the ol’ college…umm, Hogwarts…try. 

“Severus? Severus, remove that bottle immediately!!!”

“I…knoooow thet….voos!” Yes, he was so far gone, he was slurring. _It sounded so good in his head! Really!_

“Huuuoow…How…may I _*hiccup*_ hel…help you?” It just goes to show even died-in-the-wool insufferable greasy gits can’t talk when plowed under by drink.

“Listen, you drunken sot! Now’s the time to move…” Severus would say so; Lucius was weaving and wavering like a seaman newly reintroduced to the shore. “With everything and everyone still in disarray because of our Dark Lord’s defeat, now is the time to take control.”

Soused to the gills as he was, Severus realized Luci – no, Luscious…wait…Lucius – was not only sober enough, but, ruthless enough to succeed where Old Snake Face had failed. It was up to him to stop him! Since everyone else in Hogwarts and the rest of the Wizarding World was partying like it was nineteen-ninety-nine all over again, he would be the man to save the world. As usual!

With only the barest of plans floating through his pickled brain, Severus did what anyone would do when faced with a conniving, grasping Malfoy in full conquer-the-world-mode: He locked lips!

“Just like I remembered it…So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw!” (1) Well, with his tongue down Lucius’ throat – past his epiglottis – and both hands occupied with the hotness that was Lucius’ arse, Severus could be excused for likening the dominating blonde to a burning cigarette. _Mmm…it’s been too long!!_

Lucius was not easily side-tracked, but, Severus hadn’t kissed him like this for years! Damn, his hands were kneading his buttocks and grinding him into that taut Potions Master body! Wait…was that a hand down the back of his trousers? Maybe, just maybe, he’d wait to finalize plans for domination of the Wizarding World…say, next Thursday?

The tantalizing taste – ooh, drunken alliteration – or was that, sober synaptic sussing? “Mmurph…Sev, you taste divine!” Lucius kept diving back for more of those intoxicating kisses. _Duh!_

Both of them had forgotten they were in the middle of the Slytherin dungeons, well within view of any curious, or even sober, eyes. But, they didn’t give a flying fornication! They were both horny…I mean really, a good victory will loosen anybody up!

“Oof! Severus, are you trying to get rough with me?” Lucius had never, no never, seen this side of his sometime-lover. He wasn’t going to complain. Severus in charge was a force to be reckoned with. The walls of Hogwarts were stone, made to withstand ancient wars, not keep lusty men upright with comfort.

“Luci, luscious Luc…wanna fuck you until you don’t remember Voldie anymore!” murmured Severus. He was licking his Lucius lolly, and he wanted to get to the juicy center soon. Muttering and gesturing, even getting his wand in on the act, Severus had them both naked and lubed.

Using that patented Potions Master purr, Severus gave Lucky Luc the best ultimatum he’d heard that night: “You give up wanting to rule the world, and I’ll bury myself up that tight love-channel of yours every night for the rest of our lives.” Lucius was quivering with need; he wouldn’t mind that, but, he wanted something more. And, sneaky Severus knew what that was. “I’ll even buy you all the Victoria Secret’s thongs you can wear! In pastels, no less!”

There, in the wide-open hallway, face to the wall, Lucius-I’m-Gonna-Rule-The-World-Malfoy gave himself up to pleasure and Severus. That love muscle of a prick teased and tormented him as those stained fingers stretched him open. Random colors and materials were mentioned, driving Lucius mad with lust. Finally, he was pounded into the hallowed wall of Hogwarts’ dungeon, crying and weeping for joy, babbling every smarmy plan he’d ever had, begging for more, and more, and MORE!

Thus, in one night, Severus Snape saved the Wizarding World from the evil machinations of Lucius Malfoy. It wasn’t easy, but, whoever said sleeping with the not-quite-enemy ever was?

sslmsslmsslmsslmsslmsslm

(1) One of the slogans for Lucky Strike cigarettes. 

_~~~ Comments, like rain in the desert, are greatly appreciated.  
Thank you for reading. ~~~_


End file.
